Ok, so despite a similarity in the opening bars, here's a substantially different version of "Shino" — a different , smoother vocal, a sharpened instrumental mix, a few new lyrics, and a new section: a coda. Is it there yet? I'm not sure — probably not. The vocal may still be a touch too mannered and structurally it's still a bit misshapen.
A few interesting things to compare to the last version of this:
- The vocal now has now been processed to a cold metallic sheen — I think it works, given the subject matter, almost as if it's being sung behind bars.
- The rhythm section now drops out in the section verse — the effect is much more dramatic.
- The coda feels like it could use a solo or counter melody of some sort.
It's still kind of a weird song — not the most tuneful thing in the world, but with the right balance, it has potential.
The writing process has been interesting thus far — I can't say I ever would have predicted it would turn out this way. Having started as something of a late-70's/early-80's YMO/Kraftwerk homage, as I've worked to embed the vocal in the mix, the song has begun to acquire a more digital, glitchier, more modern sound. And I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.
"Look Horizon", in particular, might be the John Cale song that the vocal sounds a little like, which isn't a bad thing.
While they're not perfected yet, the vocals made the song more engaging somehow. I don't usually think everything needs "human touch" or "more soul", but it made a clear difference here.
Posted by: Matt A | December 01, 2006 at 07:52 PM
Yeah, I liked the vocal addition too. Your vocal melody has a cool David Byrne-ish quality at the beginning of the song, which I hadn't really noticed before.
Posted by: Jay | December 02, 2006 at 10:48 AM
A few more thoughts on listening to this... these first two are probably just polish:
- It seems like something should "happen" right at the end of the first chorus (1:14) - as it is, it kind of ends with a whimper (not literally).
- I think I like the removal of the drums in the second verse (though not totally decided on that), but it also seems kind of flat, like there should be more interesting stuff going on, like maybe something being introduced halfway through the second verse (1:38).
- Contrary to my other two comments, I actually like that the coda is kind of minimalist. I know what you mean by suggesting that something like a solo might sound "right" there, but I think the way it is, it brings out the bleak, mechanical, digital qualities of the song in a good way.
Posted by: Matt A | December 02, 2006 at 04:55 PM
I like the reverb on the main vocal..whereas the vocal seems to originate a bit stage left, the slap back echo is hitting out further in the stereo picture, to the right in my headphones. Is that a DP plug-in, or something else.
Posted by: Tom M | December 19, 2006 at 04:05 PM